26/6/19 - Fatigue

So recently I have been battling with a huge inner demon, the type that has never inhabited my thoughts or belief in myself for a long long time. This demon is the 'what the fuck am I doing with my life demon'. To contextualise, I am in the final year of my degree of interior architecture and I have pushed and strived and thrived more then others (anyone with external factors [sickness, family stuff etc] has). Yet now in this final push to graduate and finish, I have no motivation, lost all drive to do anything. I tell myself it's partly due to the fact I'm burnt out, but it is probably just I am unsure after 3.5 years of studies how to design, where to start, what to do, what I want to do (is it architecture or something else?). I'm searching for that methodology, that inspiration. I wrote about this as these thoughts are negitive and negitive thoughts drain energy. I also wrote about it as I feel many other people with fatigue or not would feel this level of uncertainty, this unsureness of what to do and how to do it and what comes next etc etc. Now, unfortunately I don't have the answer to my problems or anyone elses, but I do know we will all get through our predicament and regain our drive and grit. Slumps happen to everyone and everyone comes out of them at some point. Just know that others are experiencing it and your not alone.

Lesson of the day - I guess something like, if you are in a slump, focus on what you can control to regain control of the more important and bigger things in life to regain control over what the slump issue is. This may not be the answer, but it is a start and can't hurt.